Ultimatum or Acceptable Boundary?

Oh my goodness you guys, that Fantasy Suites episode was a whole other level of crazy.  I’m torn on my feelings about it, because I absolutely loved getting to see Madison and Peter truly explore their very real differences in upbringing/choices (this is the drama I find super compelling), but I also HATED how the producers tried to manufacture the drama by forcing the women to stay in a suite together.

THIS HAS NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE.  NEVER EVER.  By hometowns, the contestants are normally separated except for rose ceremonies.  I find it truly offensive to both the contestants and to the viewers to have such obviously manufactured drama.  Further, the fantasy suite dates do not film one after another.  There’s a day break between each one to allow the lead to rest (regardless of what happens in the fantasy suites, sleeping is not high on the list of priorities because it’s the first and only off-camera time the couple gets).  This means that Madison, Hannah Ann, and Victoria had to share a suite for a minimum of FIVE DAYS.  But you know what?  Those producers tried and tried to break Madi but for the most part she held her own in all of this.

I’m not terribly interested in the other two relationships right now (sorry), because for me it’s always been about Madi and Peter.  They were the relationship to beat, and I started seeing this slow-moving disaster waiting to happen when Madi shared how religious she was, and that she was looking for a “faith leader” to lead her family.  Is that Peter?  Absolutely not.  And there are times when love just isn’t enough to sustain a couple.  Major divisions on religion, politics, finances, or whether or not to have a child are things that are sometimes external, but are in every way just as important as feelings.  Unless someone in the couple is willing to bend on these (or they are ok to agree to disagree), a couple isn’t likely to last.

So it is with a lot of interest that I’ve been watching this couple.  Not just because they have immediate, easy chemistry, but because they almost seem doomed from the start.  (As an aside, THIS is why I love watching the show.  I am SO tired of the stupid, obviously manufactured drama that is surface level.  I much prefer when we get shown the true issues that many couples face, like, where should we live?  Do both of us want to work outside the home?  How important is religion in our lives?  DID YOU VOTE FOR TRUMP?  More of this, less of champagne-gate.)

While Madi had told Peter before hometowns that her religion was very important to her, she did not disclose the full impact of that on her relationships.  It was clear during the hometown visit that her family was very religious, but they kept speaking in generalities.  No one ever said to Peter that Madi was saving herself for marriage.  When Madi pulled Peter aside, she tried to express this sentiment but still didn’t lay it all out for him:

Madi: I want to be honest about who I am and how I feel.  And if next week you were to sleep with someone else it would be really hard for me to really move forward in this.  And I just feel like I owe it you to be up front with you and honest with you about that.  That is really important to me.

Peter: So what are you saying, if I were to spend the night with someone else, that’s not something you could do?

Madi:  Um, it’s going to be really hard for me if that’s the case but I just…

Peter: So that’s a no?

Madi: I don’t know, I don’t know how to answer that.

Peter: I kind of need to know.  I don’t know what you’re trying to tell me right now.  If you want me to end this all with… what are you asking?

Madi: No, I’m not asking that, I just…

Peter: I feel like it’s not necessarily fair to the relationships I have in there, but I don’t want that to get you down in any way and make you feel like I think any less of what we have.

Madi: I don’t know, I just, I don’t want to tell you yes or no.

Peter: Well I think that’s obviously something I need to know right now.  You’re saying that you wouldn’t be able to keep this going with me if I spent the night with anyone else?  Just so I can be clear.

Madi: In no way do I want to give you an ultimatum or tell you what you can do or can’t do at all, and I hope you know that and I hope you know my heart, but for me actions speak louder than words and I’m just really big on that.

Peter: You know how much you mean to me.

Madi: I know.

Peter: Ok.

Full video of the exchange in the YouTube clip below:

And that’s how it ended!!!  I don’t know how Peter felt in that moment, but I for one was lacking some clarity.  I have no problem with Madison making her boundaries known, but I’m wondering if Peter was missing some context here.  Madi did not say the following, which I think would have firmly taken this out of plausible deniability world for Peter and squarely into dealbreaker territory: I am saving myself for marriage, and having a partner who shares my values is extremely important to me.  I understand that is not your position with respect to past behavior, but the right partner for me would not be sleeping with someone else within a week of proposing to me.

Without explicitly tying it to religion or sexual boundaries, Peter can (perhaps selectively) hear that Madison’s position is about insecurities, or something they can “get past” as a couple.  And Peter’s response to Madison (“I don’t want that to get you down in any way and make you feel like I think any less of what we have”) supports that thought, that he somehow thinks this is about comparing strengths of relationships rather than what Madi fundamentally wants in a partner.

I do think Madi should have been more explicit about how this relates to HER and not just what she wants in a partner, and I do wish she’d brought it up earlier in a context where they could have been alone.  Waiting until after the rose ceremony means they don’t have time or space to truly process this, and doesn’t allow Peter to digest the info and then ask follow-ups.  They have no more time before fantasy suites, so Peter is left to figure it out on his own.

And for whatever reason, he chooses to disregard Madison’s request.  Listen, I’m not the biggest fan of Peter.  I find him to be shockingly entitled, especially considering he was on the other side of this process not too long ago.  He’s almost overwhelmingly brings everything back to him (this is hard for HIM, it’s how HE feels, HE needs to hear validation) without much thought for how it impacts the women he purportedly loves.  So I’m not unbiased here.  But I still found his actions to be questionable.

A few things to note:

Most leads do NOT sleep with every contestant in the fantasy suites.

In the past few seasons (this is based on subsequent interviews), we know the following:

  • Hannah B. slept with Peter and Jed, but not Tyler.
  • Colton slept with no one, and actually sent the other two women home at this point in the process to pursue Cassie.
  • Becca sent one of her three men home before the fantasy suite.
  • Rachel Lindsay said she slept with two out of the three men.
  • Nick Viall only slept with his final choice.

I could go on, but you get the gist.  It is NOT necessary or even the norm for the lead to sleep with all of the remaining contestants during the fantasy suites.

Moreover, most leads know by this point who they are going to pick.

For example:

  • Hannah B. said during After the Final Rose that she’d thought it would be Jed and Tyler surprised her during fantasy suites, but it was too little too late.
  • Colton knew it was going to be Cassie at LEAST by fantasy suites, and sent the other two contestants home at that point.
  • Rachel has said she knew it was Bryan before she even narrowed it down to the four hometown dates.
  • Nick knew he was picking Vanessa at least by fantasy suites.

Most leads know who they’re going to pick, or at least have it narrowed down to two, at least by fantasy suites.  So let’s say Peter was still torn between Madison and Hannah Ann, for example.  Was it REALLY so hard to wait six more days to see which one he wanted to be with?  I think no (but I also think it’s totally bananas to be “torn” about who you are going to propose to days before you actually do it – this show is NOT a recipe for success).

Final thoughts on this: Madison probably shouldn’t be on this show, and as much as I really enjoy watching her, she also shouldn’t be the Bachelorette.  It’s not a good fit with who she is as a person, which is really a compliment if you think about it 🙂  Madison and Peter, as much as they care for each other, are not compatible.  They may have the chemistry and trust and passion, but they are missing some major fundamentals that are hard to get past.  I truly applaud Madison for keeping her cool as much as she did in this scenario.  She’s stuck in a suite with two women dating the man she cares for, and she still refrains from asking them whether they were intimate with Peter.  She does talk about her own expectations (I’m sure with some producer prodding) but I felt like she did better than most in that situation.  And DAMN did she express herself well to Peter during their date.

I’m annoyed with Peter, yet again.  I know Madison could have been clearer, but I also think he knew she was his pick by this point, and decided that he’d just figure it out later and sleep with the other women (knowing he was not going to pick them).  He explicitly says he hopes it’s something they can “get through” together, and that he hates the situation.  DUDE.  The situation exists BECAUSE OF YOU.  This is like The Bachelor tweeting about how awkward it was that the women were all staying together this week:

I’m sorry.  You don’t get to make a cringey face and say it’s awkward when you are the ones who made it so.

Peter really screwed this one up.  We’ll see if Madison stays or leaves but I do think that at least in Peter’s mind, Madi is the one.  I definitely don’t see him getting engaged to Victoria, and I can’t really see it with Hannah Ann either.  This is definitely the most emotion we’ve gotten from him so far, and it seems like it’s the only time he’s been able to slightly step outside of himself to empathize with one of the contestants.  Unfortunately, it’s probably too late.  I have a feeling we’re in for a bit of a bumpy landing (see what I did there) and I don’t have high hopes for the longterm success of Madi and Peter if they do end up together.

And in an unlikely crossover, Bar Stool Sports says it best:



Turbulence on the Friendly Skies

Guys, this season is a straight up mess.  They have given us FIVE HOURS of Bachelor content this week, not including the two hours from last week that I still haven’t blogged about, so it’s time to just dive in.  Remember how I said I liked Peter as the lead?  That is no longer the case.  Peter continues to make bad decision after bad decision, in ways that are disrespectful and hurtful to the individuals who have given up tangible things in their lives to participate in this process.  It’s clear Peter is easily manipulated by producers, who are earning their paychecks big time this season.  Let’s break it down.

The Producers

I have never seen such heavy-handed producing on a season.  First we had champagne-gate, which was a product of producers creating two similar looking champagne set-ups and likely leading Hannah Ann to the wrong one, knowing Kelsey would blow a gasket.  Then we had the Chase Rice concert.  This franchise is no stranger to the moderately successful country music singer performance, but we’ve never had a situation where one of the contestants dated* the performer.

That was very obvious producer intervention, along with the choice to show behind-the-scenes footage of both Peter and Victoria F. talking with Chase.

*I use the term date very loosely.  Chase has given several interviews since the show aired and it’s clear that he and Victoria spent exactly one night together in Charlotte, NC.  And because I take this job very seriously, I can share with you that it was August 30, 2019 – a few weeks before the season started filming.


Producers also very clearly intervened in convincing Peter, somehow, to give Alayah a group date rose for a date she wasn’t even on, which he then quickly took away once the broader group of women pounced on him.  I have to imagine it was producer intervention that prompted Peter to give Kelsey a rose when she visited his room (I don’t recall this EVER happening before), and I’m sure they had their hand in canceling the subsequent cocktail party.  They are all over this season and it’s a little disruptive for the viewer.  I enjoy some lighthearted drama but this is incessant.


Which brings me to Peter.  We see all this producer-driven drama because Peter LETS THEM DO IT.  Obviously the lead can’t upend the process completely, but I’ve never seen a lead so complacent and easily manipulated.  Is he just not that smart?  I’m starting to feel like he’s missing something.  He seems incapable of independent thought, and maybe this process is just truly messing with him, but he is woefully inconsistent in his treatment of the women.

The Alayah issue is the clearest example.  After hearing one woman express distrust of Alayah, a woman he admittedly really likes, he embarks on a full-on inquisition to get to the bottom of it.  He decides to send her home after much struggle, and then when the producers bring her back he goes through the whole process over again.  And then invites her to stay, and then GIVES HER THE GROUP DATE ROSE!  This is baffling behavior.  The women were already very displeased with the fact they were made to literally tackle each other for time with Peter, only to have to share the after-party between 13 women.  Giving Alayah the group date rose made zero sense.


As if that weren’t enough, the next night the drama continues and Peter fully indulges it.  He continues to pull woman after woman aside to discuss, yet again, the Alayah issue.  He does so in the face of obvious distress from the women.  Deandra straight up calls Peter out, saying she had never felt so “under-recognized” by someone and that his actions were a “slap in the face.”  And what does Peter do?  He pulls Victoria P. aside for MORE ALAYAH DISCUSSION.  Does he not even care that he is disrespecting the women who have traveled to freaking Cleveland for him?  He then decides to send Alayah home after all that mess.

I know Peter knows he made a mistake with Alayah, but he continues to make mistakes after that point.  Peter should have known that giving Kelsey a rose while knowing she was the center of drama at the house would cause a stir.  Really bad call if he actually cares about Kelsey’s wellbeing.

I’m starting to think Peter might not just get it?  All leads speak in platitudes but he seems to actually believe it, and he wants the women to buy into it as much as he does.  It’s a bit baffling, because Peter was so recently a contestant on the other side, and should know how frustrating it is when a lead is disrespectful with a contestant’s time.

The Women

God these women are vicious to each other.  We really have seen so little of the female friendship that is usually so strong.  I have whiplash trying to keep it all straight.

Victoria P. and Alayah used to be friends but can’t seem to agree on that point. Kelsey seems ok with Sydney until she’s not.  Tammy is on team Kelsey until she decides Kelsey’s just too much (sidenote, Tammy’s demise has been so sad to watch, I really liked her).  The women liked Tammy until they realized her actions “made Peter” cancel the cocktail party.  Then it’s Tammy vs. Sydney (who, by the way, didn’t look great here either).  Mykenna and Lexi are friends until Mykenna creates a mini-cocktail party before the rose ceremony and Lexi feels slighted.  It’s certainly dramatic, but devoid of the normal undercurrent of female friendship we see.

I think it’s pretty telling seeing who is part of the fray and who is staying out of it (or at least, who producers show as part of the drama).  Madison, Hannah Ann, and Kelley were refreshingly absent from all of it, and it makes me think they go far.

Top 4

  1. Madison.  Still at the top.  We haven’t seen a lot of her, but I think that’s actually a good thing, considering.  Excited for their next one-on-one.madison
  2. Hannah Ann.  She stayed out of the drama.  She had a good one-on-one date.  It looks like she’s friends with Madison.  I’m getting hometown vibes.
  3. Kelley.  My girl Kelley!  I realize that I am predisposed to be on Team Kelley, as we are both female lawyers who live in Chicago, but I really loved her this episode.  She called Peter on his bullshit and she was refreshingly honest about the absurdity of having to prove you’re ready to marry someone who, at the same time, is dating 12 other women.  Not sure if she’ll get to Fantasy Suites but fingers crossed.

Also, am loving Natasha, another personal favorite of mine.

This also sums up how I feel about Peter.  And I’m exhausted from this week.  Hoping things settle down a bit next week.

PS: I am planning a separate post that is a deep dive into Victoria F. TBD.


Episode 3: Too Much Pageantry?

It feels like we’re getting into the swing of things now, so let the games begin.


We start with a flashback of champagne-gate, and then a cut to the morning after.  Everyone is tired of talking about champagne.  Kelsey doesn’t even LIKE champagne.  Both women take the L.  Moving on.

Victoria P. and the Role of Trauma

Victoria P. has her first one-on-one date and we quickly see that she is too good for this show.  In the first episode we got a little back story, which previewed her challenging upbringing.  Her dad passed away when she was young and her mom struggled with addiction.  In that promo package, we saw Victoria P. with her mom and her sister, so it seems like her mom has recovered (at least enough to participate), but we got a lot more details last night.

Victoria P.’s story is chilling.  She was tasked with taking care of her sister as they shuffled through shelters, dealing with extreme food insecurity.  Victoria P. detailed how she would cut up a raw potato, season it with salt and pepper, and give it to her sister just to ensure her sister would have food that day.

The trauma Victoria P. experienced is not fodder for a reality show.  It’s not something that should appear on a first date, complete with a close-up and touching music at the end of a segment.  Victoria P. should never feel like she needs to expose herself to the world to “get a rose.”

This is known on the show as the “trauma pitch” (although I liken it to trauma porn).  A contestant is encouraged to share their deepest trauma with a relative stranger (on national television, no less) as soon as possible.  The producers couch the advice to share in terms of “vulnerability,” being “open” to the process, and using your time with the lead in a world where time is the most valuable currency you have.

An article in Psychology Today says it better than I can:

“Due to limited and unpredictable access to the bachelor or bachelorette, there is intense pressure to ‘make a pitch’—that is, to form a sound bite about how one’s deepest trauma has taught them some valuable life lesson, usually some variant of one of these three or four themes.
The experience of [insert horrible trauma that the bachelor/bachelorette and audience have no right to know] has taught me to….’never take life for granted/make the most out of every day/tell the people I care about that I love them more often/make the most out of the chances I’m given.'”

Victoria P.’s “lesson” is that she has never felt deserving of someone like Peter, and it has impacted her past relationships.  Victoria P. shares that she is grateful to Peter (a stranger!!) for showing her what she deserves, and she wants Peter to know who she is.

This franchise and this universe is not the place for someone like Victoria P. to unpack this trauma and its impact on her interpersonal relationships.  The producers extricate these deep-seated emotions but are not there to help the contestant work through any of it after it’s shared.  The producers are there to make a story, and any alleged benefit a contestant has in unburdening herself is tangential to the overall goal of making a profitable show.  The costs far outweigh the benefits, yet we continue to see it season after season.

I worry this will not work out well for Victoria P.  She says repeatedly that she’s falling in love with Peter, and that she’ll do what she has to do to protect her relationship.  She seems to be conflating her worth with the idea of a “man like Peter” (who seems like a nice enough guy but fairly normal).  And Peter seems to be more into the idea of her than her.  He loves that she’s a caregiver, that she leads with her heart, and is drawn in by her background, but I don’t see a lot of chemistry between the two.  I am very nervous to see where this goes, for her sake.

Dethroning of Alayah

Is the era of beauty queens officially over on this franchise???  In the past few seasons the pageant queens have done fairly well (Hannah B., Caelynn) but now it seems like the tides are turning, and the fact that you are a pageant queen means you have the burden of showing you are actually authentic (let’s just ignore how that same description could apply to models, influencers, and half the contestants).

I have to admit I did not see this coming.In the past two episodes Alayah has been portrayed as a sweet friend.  She talked Kelsey up after Kelsey had a meltdown at Mykenna, even fixing her makeup.  So I was a little confused when we saw footage of the women at the house, with Alayah on a coffee table saying she’s “not like all those other beauty queens.”

This seems to be the impetus of Sydney’s takedown, but we later see that many of the women share Sydney’s thoughts on this.

I see two issues at play.  The first is Alayah’s profession(s) and her comments about how she’s “very good at putting on a face” when she needs to.  The second is Alayah’s actions, both before filming and in the house.  I think the women conflate the two, and use Alayah’s comments that seem to be made in jest against her, but they likely do so because Alayah’s actions in front of the camera don’t match who she is around the house.

I don’t really see an issue with Alayah’s comments.  Sydney, who has already decided that Alayah is fake, conducts a vicious cross-examination of Alayah in the night portion of the group date (seriously Sydney, consider litigation because that was masterful).


She starts off with a question that Alayah should have known was pointed, but Alayah just responds normally, “oh yeah girl I have like three jobs.”  And it just goes downhill from there.  Sydney traps Alayah into saying that it’s easy for her to say the right things as to not offend people.

Sydney then shares this with Peter, and he takes it super seriously.  This is either a testament to Peter’s feelings for Sydney, or his fear of a Jed-repeat (probably a bit of both).  Peter is so scared that someone on the show is going to pull the wool over his eyes, he ends up doing a full house inquisition into Alayah’s actions.

And here’s where I really do see why Sydney raised this with Peter.  Because in every conversation (at least those we’re shown), the women Peter talks to say that Alayah is fake for the cameras.  That she acts one way and then as soon as the cameras are present she “turns it on.”  That her voice goes up an octave as soon as Peter shows up.


And most damning of all, apparently Alayah told Victoria P. (a fellow pageant queen) to not share with producers that they knew each other before the show.  Alayah explained that she made that decision because she was scared that both women would be “disqualified” if producers knew they had a prior friendship (see, however, Caelynn and Hannah B. from last season, producers LOVE this stuff).  But it was the final nail in the coffin for Alayah.

I guess she comes back next episode, but I can’t imagine it’s for a long time.  Peter was really thrown by Sydney’s accusations, and it makes me wonder what the men on Hannah’s season knew about Jed (or Luke P.) and how they acted around Hannah versus in the house.  Peter said multiple times that he can’t let what happened last season happen again.

A few other thoughts:

Women and lingerie and pillow fighting?  Can we not, ABC?  Sometimes it feels like this show is too problematic to ever recover, but I guess that’s a conversation for another day.

Word slip-ups.  We had a few.  Case in point:

These made me giggle.

Top 4:

  1. Madison.  Can anyone beat Madison at this point?  Peter was so happy to see her, and their chemistry is palpable.  It’s hers to lose, but there’s still a lot of time so we shall see.
  2. Kelley.  I was glad to see Kelley back on our screens this week.  She had a nice one-on-one time with Peter, and I really liked how she characterized herself.  Instead of saying something like how she’s not like all the other women, she kept the focus on herself, sharing that she was really far outside of her comfort zone, but was sticking around for him.  These two seem like a normal couple, which is refreshing.  I also loved that Kelley bit her tongue during the drama.
  3. Sydney.  Somehow during all this mess, Sydney managed to position herself as Peter’s confidante.  It shows that Peter trusts her and is willing to take her side, even at this early stage.

Honorable Mention:

Tammy!  I am loving Tammy.  She’s hilarious and seems so normal.  Maybe getting a Bachelorette edit??  She and Peter finally shared a kiss.  I don’t see her getting to hometowns but I hope she sticks around awhile because she’s a breath of fresh air.

Until next week!


Episode 2: Champagne and Tears

Episode 2 in the books and I am still loving this season.  The producers seem to be pulling back the veil a bit (except for some suspect editing during the Hannah B. and Peter convo, discussed below), the ladies are bringing the drama, and Peter is appropriately bought into the process.  It’s just been a fun time, and I’m excited to see where it goes.

Let’s get to it!

Hannah B. and Peter

We pick up where we left off last week, which is exactly where I wanted to be.  Hannah B. and Peter are discussing their lingering feelings.  Hannah B. has admitted she wonders whether she made a mistake sending Peter home, and explains why she hasn’t reached out until now.  Here’s where the editing starts to get funky.  Peter asks Hannah to join the house, and her immediate response is, “I mean…” and then a soundbite of her saying “maybe” that we don’t see coming from her mouth (prime example of frankenbiting).  We then start getting some strange footage where it seems like the camera people are out of the room and zooming in:

Hannah says, “selfishly, let’s just get on a plane!” And then the conversation seems highly edited from that point out.  Up until then, the two of them had been super candid and honest with each other.  It’s the type of conversation you know has happened behind closed doors, but we’ve never seen it before on our screens, and it was incredibly compelling.  Hannah expressed doubt, Peter questioned whether she felt this way because she was focusing on the “what ifs” and not her true emotions, and both of them were stuck.  Hannah was in the middle of filming DWTS, and Peter had just started his journey as the Bachelor.  He asked if Hannah would come back to the house, but we all know Hannah would never do that.  All she could offer Peter was for him to break his contract, walk away from a house full of women vying for his attention, and take a chance on a maybe.

I have a feeling that after Hannah made the suggestion that they hightail it out of there, the two of them continued to have a very candid discussion about what that would look like.  We’ll see if either of them speak to the media about what we weren’t shown, but otherwise it’s impossible to know.  All we know is that after that conversation (and likely, some producer intervention telling Peter he absolutely could not walk away from his whole season), Peter told Hannah he couldn’t do it and the two of them said their goodbyes.

Takeaway on Hannah: I think the producers put her up to appearing on the show.  I think she has to own her actions once she got to the show, and I wish for both their sake she had kept what she was feeling to herself, because she wasn’t offering Peter a real choice.  She was never going to join his season, and she had to know he couldn’t leave his.  It wasn’t fair to ask him to do that, so it felt like an eruption of emotion without a well-thought out plan.  I feel for the woman but this helped no one.  I hope they both take some space from this.  If they have true feelings for each other they will find their way back together, but I think this is most likely an exercise in regret rather than true love.

Notably, we were missing any ITMs (“in the moment” interviews that are one-on-one) from either Hannah or Peter.  This is weird.  Last episode we had a ton of Hannah B. one-on-ones where she was crying to her producer and talking about her feelings.  And I don’t really understand the decision to not interview Peter about that interaction (or, more likely, to not SHOW any interviews with Peter) unless he was saying things that don’t fit with the narrative of the story arc this season.  Based on what we’ve been shown, I do not think Hannah B. and Peter get back together.  But we shall see!  This season is a big question mark, which makes it so fun to watch!


This was some good old-fashioned producer-driven fun, wasn’t it?  Kelsey, who seemed to have been drinking some champagne already, set aside a bottle of champagne she’d been saving for a year.  Hannah Ann led Peter straight to it, seemingly not knowing it was Kelsey’s, and opened it right up.  Cue Kelsey’s total meltdown.

For context, Kelsey seemed to be keyed up in general during this cocktail party.  She accused Mykenna of “stealing” Peter when Mykenna spent some one-on-one time with him (at least from what we saw, Mykenna did not appear to take Peter from anyone).  So Kelsey was primed for an altercation.

I asked my Instagram whether they thought Hannah Ann knew the champagne was Kelsey’s, and the response was mixed:


I think Hannah Ann was set up.  As she explained after the incident, there were two champagne areas and I think producers likely led her to the wrong one.  Hannah Ann’s reactions (and subsequent decision to tattle to Peter and accuse Kelsey of bullying) are her own, but I do believe her on this point.

I do not, however, think Kelsey was bullying Hannah Ann, and it turns out, neither do you:


Honestly, both women take the loss here.  Kelsey overreacted about the champagne, and continued to hold a grudge into the next day and night, which seems unnecessary.  At first I thought Hannah Ann handled the altercation well.  She could have emoted a bit more, and focused on apologizing right away, but she stayed calm and moved away from the situation.  I didn’t think she needed to continue the drama by bringing it up with Peter, especially after she “won” that group date.

And let’s talk about that group date, shall we?

Victoria F. vs. Hannah Ann

This was a doozy.  Victoria F. was all over the place and it was really hard for me to follow.  If you recall, she botched a sexual joke right out of the limo, and seemed to get real awkward, real fast.

victoria f 1

Since then, she has made it a point to tell the camera (and us) how out of her element she is, how this is uncomfortable for her, and how she’s not like the other girls.  This episode, she’s tapped to participate in one of the better dates this franchise has to offer – a chance to win a whole wardrobe sponsored by Revolve.  And all you have to do is put together an outfit of your choosing and strut down the runway.  (Remember when contestants had to get almost naked in years past?  This is way better.)   Also, Victoria F. is a model:

So I find it a little hard to believe that this date got her spinning out so badly, but that’s what she says.

She ping pongs between scared, crying, giddiness, etc. on this date.  It was hard to follow.

victoria f 2.jpg

I’m not totally sure what to make of her yet, and it looks like you guys are just as stymied:


I do believe that one person can authentically feel all these emotions in a short span of time, especially in a stressful situation like dating on national television.  So I’m not saying that she’s putting on an act, but she does seem hard to follow.  She has another breakdown to Peter in the evening portion of the date, and pulls a card that many a contestant has used in the past by threatening to leave.  She’s threatened to leave a few times already, and the previews show her doing it again, so we’ll see whether Peter tires of it in the future, but for now he gives her the assurances she needs to hear, and all seems well.  I think she’ll be around for a bit.

Here’s who I think Peter is most interested in at this point.

  1. Madison:  We didn’t see a ton of her this episode but when we did see her it was meaningful.  Peter gave her a framed picture of their date and made a point to tell her how much he liked her.  I think he’s really feeling it with her.
  2. Sydney: We finally got to see some of Sydney!  She got the group date rose, and Peter really seemed to connect with her.  We also saw some good footage in the preview of the two of them.  I think he really appreciated that she was a straight-shooter and down to earth.
  3. Hannah Ann: Like her or not, it’s pretty clear Peter does.  We’ll see how she weathers the Kelsey storm, but I have a feeling Hannah Ann is going to come out the winner there.  The girls is confident, I’ll give her that!
  4. Victoria F. (possibly): Jury is still out here, I’m not ready to put her at the very top, but that runway walk alone won her some points in Peter’s eyes.  Hopefully she gets out of her own head!  But I think we’re going to get some more gems from her in the mean time.

Peter’s favorites are not always my favorites, so here’s my list of the women I’m enjoying watching the most.

  1. Tammy.  Tammy is a breath of fresh air!  She’s funny, she’s involved but not too involved, and she seems super normal.  Sidenote: there was a voiceover of Tammy seemingly badmouthing Kelsey right after she consoled Kelsey, and I have to think that was editing.  I think Tammy said those words, but likely not about Kelsey (or not about that particular incident).  Always be on alert when you hear a voiceover but don’t see the words coming out of the contestant’s mouth! 
  2. Lexi:  I think she’s a dark horse!  I loved how Peter remembered her (but joked that he didn’t), and I loved her confidence on the group date.  She rocked the runway.  I also loved her response to Kelsey.image1
  3. Natasha:  Natasha was great this episode.  She was up front with Peter about how she felt when he spent all his time with Hannah B., and the outtake of her talking with Janice Dickinson was gold.  She’s also the only contestant over 30, so you know I’m rooting for her!
  4. Kelley:  Where was my girl Kelley this episode??  After such a strong start last week, we barely saw her.  I think she’ll reappear on our screens next week though, and when she does I’m sure she’ll regain her place in Peter’s top 4.image0


And I’ll leave you with the best part of the episode:


We’re BACK!

Hello friends, it’s been a minute.  I am sorry I have abandoned you for TWO YEARS (life happens), but am happy to be here for the beginning of a brand new Bachelor season, with a new bachelor Peter.

So let’s get to it, shall we?  First, let’s talk about Peter and what we know about his season so far, because it looks like things are going down a little differently.  As a reminder, this is a SPOILER-FREE zone.  I haven’t read spoilers for this season and don’t plan to.  That being said, there’s a lot of noise about this season and as a regular consumer of Bachelor content (Reddit, podcasts, interviews), it’s clear something is up.  Peter has explicitly called out spoilers and said that no one will be able to spoil this season.  Chris Harrison has made similar comments.  As far as I know, that has held true and no spoilers have been released, at least about the ending.  The general consensus in the blogosphere is that this season is unspoiled because it hasn’t ended yet.  What I mean by that is that people think Peter either chose no one, chose someone who was not a contestant (cough, cough, Hannah B.), or chose someone but after the season stopped filming.  Maybe this is all a gimmick to lend credence to Hannah B.’s appearance on Peter’s premiere, but for whatever reasons, this season is likely to be an interesting one!

Peter as the Bachelor

As an initial matter, I thought Peter gave an above-average performance on his first night at “The Bachelor.”  He was pretty vanilla on Hannah B.’s season, windmill night aside, but handled the women very well.  He was gracious, attentive, humble, and confident all at the same time.  And his convo with Hannah B. was just HEARTBREAKING.

Hannah B.

This really was the whole episode for me, and the most real this show can get.  I know people are tired of seeing Hannah B. crying on their screens (myself included, but more for her sake – hasn’t she been through enough???) but let’s walk through this.  Hannah was competing on Dancing With The Stars in the LA-area by the time Peter’s season started filming.  It is common knowledge that Mike Fleiss (problematic creator of the franchise) does not like his leading ladies to go on DWTS, even though he routinely lets the male leads do it.  There’s a lot on this.  Hannah B. was the first Bachelorette who has been allowed to have the gig since the first Bachelorette ever, Trista, whereas four former bachelors have done it, not including Grocery Store Joe.

Given Mike Fleiss’s very protectionist approach to having his female leads participate in DWTS, I don’t think it’s too far-fetched to think that in exchange, Hannah agreed to show up on Peter’s season (and in fact, her contract may have required her to do so regardless).  Does that mean she was contractually obligated to share her lingering feelings with the new lead?  Of course not.  But I do feel for her, because it didn’t look like she really wanted to be on that date and I don’t think she had a choice in the matter.

So let’s break it down.  Hannah had a rocky season, to say the least.  She got engaged to Jed which ended in a great ball of flames sometime over the summer.  They were officially over by the time her season concluded, on July 30, 2019.  Hannah then goes out for one date with Tyler C., on August 1, 2019.  That, as we all know, goes nowhere, as Tyler C. starts dating Gigi shortly after.  On August 17, 2019, Hannah is announced as a DWTS contestant, and starts training shortly thereafter (first episode is aired on September 16).  Peter is announced as Bachelor in September, although it was widely known that he was a finalist for the gig by the time Hannah’s season had concluded.  His season started filming on September 20, 2019.  And the date we saw on Monday was filmed on September September 24, 2019 (happy birthday Hannah B.!).

hannah and peter

Whew.  A whirlwind to say the least.  Could Hannah B. have reached out to Peter before his season started if she actually had feelings?  Absolutely.  But I find it pretty defensible that she didn’t.  Trying out one of her runner-ups is one thing, but going down the line is something else.  She also likely wanted to give Peter a shot at the gig, and if she had gotten involved it may have messed it up for him (notably, on Ashley I.’s podcast, Peter said he would not have been the bachelor if Hannah had reached out to him beforehand, which blows my mind).  I do think, however, that she should have tried harder to lock it up while she was on the date.  Peter did not need that extra confusion, and Hannah was not about to join his season.  She was in the middle of filming DWTS!

Given the fact that the season ending still remains open, I am leaving some space in my heart for Hannah B. and Peter to reunite.  I think it’s possible the two will end up together, which is nuts, I know, but it’s also bonkers that Peter is out there saying he wouldn’t have done his season if he had known Hannah was into him!  Can you imagine being Peter’s final 1 and hearing him say that?  So I’m holding out a candle, but we all know she does not actually join Peter’s season because she goes on to win DWTS, which filmed basically the entire time the Bachelor filmed.

Let’s move on to the women who are actually competing for Peter’s heart, shall we?

I’m not going to go through every one, but I am going to include my top contenders thus far.

  1. Kelley Flanagan


Gotta love a lady lawyer from Chicago!  She was a large part of the episode, cheating scandal aside (and I thought she handled the accusation with grace and humor).  I like her!  She seems to have a good self-awareness about all of it, and she and Peter have an undeniable connection so far.  I hope that “target” on her back goes away as more women get into the fray.  I would hate to see her embroiled in unnecessary drama, but so far so good for Kelley.

2. Hannah Ann

Hannah Ann is like a doll!  She’s young, at 23, but has a lot of poise and grace about her.  She’s clearly very confident, and she has definitely captured Peter’s attention with that first impression rose.  I think she plays it up for the cameras a little too much, but I’m hoping she relaxes into all of this a bit and we get to know her more.  I think she’s going to be around for awhile.

3. Madison


This date was so sweet!  Madison seems like an all-around nice person.  She held it together for that fairly intense first date (first date while being filmed, first alone time with Peter, and also meeting his family all in one is a lot).  The two seemed well-matched.  I didn’t see SPARKS fly between them but they have a solid foundation so far.

Honestly, those are my top three and the rest I’m still trying to figure out.  I thought Tammy was a real hoot:

Victoria F. had a few meltdowns and great facial expressions:

Victoria P. seems too pure for this world (as in The Bachelor world), and I VERY much appreciated the flashback to spinning teacups.

Lauren is just stunning, and crushed the jumpsuit look, so I’m excited to see more from her:


So I’m pumped for this season!  And I hope you are too!  Until next time…



Hello rose lovers!  I’m sorry for my absence – I’ve been so busy and the start of the Bachelor season is just so overwhelming!

Before we get too deep into the weeds, let’s talk about Arie.  I happened to adore Arie when he was a contestant on Emily’s season.  I was honestly shocked (SHOCKED!) when Emily picked Jef with one “f” over race-car driver Arie.  I think as a contestant, Arie shined.  He was likable, gallant, handsome, and very into Emily.  I think he’s struggling to find his footing a bit as the lead this time around, and I don’t think 5 years out of the spotlight helped.  On the one hand, at least he’s not uber-aware of every move he makes, like Nick was.  Nick was hyper-focused on image, and it made for a bad season.  Arie is not.  He’s a little bit nerdy and awkward, which are all fine.  It’s more that he doesn’t seem quite comfortable yet, which I hope passes as the process continues.

applause use

Also, his choices in women give me pause.  Arie is one of the more mature bachelors we’ve had.  He’s 36.  He’s not the oldest bachelor we’ve ever had, but he’s certainly not the youngest.  And it seems that he’s systematically booted all the women over 30, all in the first three episodes.

Goodbye Annaliese, 32.


Goodbye Lauren J., 33 (who, by the way, had a very interesting, and in my opinion, stunning first night dress)

lauren j

Goodbye, Lauren S., 31 (to Arie’s credit, that was a BAD date)

lauren s

Goodbye Nysha, 30


Which means that we are only three episodes in, and Arie is, at a MINIMUM, 7 years older than the oldest woman left.  And he’s 14 years older than the youngest (Bekah M).  It’s not necessarily problematic on its own, but given Arie’s dating history, that seems to be his type.  He’s been eliminating women who are challenging (aka, Annaliese making him decide whether or not the two of them had a future), and keeping women like Jenna, who has looked decidedly tipsy at every single turn.

However, it is too soon to call the season.  We still have a few great ladies, so here are my picks for women who will go far.

  1. Becca K., 27.

becca dress

I’m a big fan of Becca.  She got the first 1-on-1, which usually means the lead is into the contestant.  And that date went really well.  She got the “Cinderella” date, which I have mixed feelings about generally.  The show usually picks someone who is a little out of their element with that date, and it always feels really paternalistic.  But Becca knew her way around some Louboutins, so it felt a little less icky this time around.  Becca is also doing a good job of staying out of drama and appears to be really normal.  I like her, and I think Arie does too.

2. Seinne, 27

I have a major girl crush on Seinne.  She’s beautiful, smart, and kind of a badass (she won that bumper car challenge like a champ).  Also, her style is impeccable.  She always is wearing something classic, like monotone, but with a hint of sexy, like a cut-out or sheer.  I would pick Seinne.  I don’t know if Arie will, but she’s a catch, so I hope he keeps her around for awhile.


3. Tia, 26.

At first I thought Tia was just Raven 2.0 (which honestly isn’t that bad because I’ve come around hard on Raven), but Tia is her own person and she’s fabulous!  She’s funny, quick, and comfortable with Arie.  She’s got a lot of spunk and she’s a pleasure to watch, so I hope she sticks around as well.  Tia also seems well-liked in the house, and although she’s in the center of some storylines, she’s not the one causing drama, which is a good sign.


Honestly, those are the only ones I like/think will go far.  I also like Caroline, and she had a promising start as first out of the limo, but I haven’t seen anything from her.  I loved Annaleise and all of her crazy traumatic backstories, but she wasn’t what Arie was looking for.  There are a few other women that we have to talk about.  These are women that I think Arie likes, but I don’t like them for him.

First up, Krystal.  It’s hard to ignore Krystal because she has inserted herself in every episode, sometimes multiple times.  What can I say?  I’m not a fan of Krystal.  She says she had a cold during the first few weeks of filming, but her affect is really noticeable in her ITMs, and less so when she’s having a conversation “off camera.”

The way she is with Arie is super seductive yet sweet, which Arie seems to find very attractive.

krystal 1

But I have a feeling Krystal thought she wasn’t being filmed for this odd exchange, and her affect (and voice) are totally different.

krystal 2

I don’t buy that it was just a cold.  Also, there’s Chelsea the single mom, who came in super hot with the other girls, but seems to have laid off a bit.  I don’t really see the chemistry between Arie and Chelsea, but he seems to like her “mystery.”


Last up, Bekah.  I actually find Bekah super compelling to watch, so this analysis is nothing against her.  I just don’t think she’s right for Arie.  Mostly because I don’t think she’s that INTO Arie.  I think she’s really good at being (or acting) super-confident, and she knows that’s a different approach from a lot of other women, so it’s working on Arie.  But I don’t think it will last, and if it does, I don’t think she’d be happy with Arie.  Bekah is 22 – she’s got her whole life ahead of her (hopefully on Paradise!!!).


Looks like it’s going to be a good season.  Hopefully I’ll be blogging a little more frequently.  Cheers to another episode tonight!


Bachelor Bachelorette

Countdown to Hometowns

We’ve made it down to the final four!  I haven’t posted in a bit, so let’s hit some of the highlights before we delve into RACHEL AS THE BACHELORETTE!!!!

Corinne vs. Taylor

This seems so long ago, but I don’t want to let Taylor go without a proper goodbye.  Corinne and Taylor are both some of our younger contestants, and I think that Taylor, as smart as she clearly is, did not have the “emotional intelligence” or maturity to move away from that toxic relationship.  I don’t think Taylor bullied Corinne, although I do think Taylor was condescending, which turned out to be a dangerous tack to take, because Corinne may be a lot of things, but she knows how to turn a situation to her benefit.


I’m not going to go through all the Corinne v. Taylor interactions, but I do think Corinne made a huge play when she preempted the issues by bringing up the issues in the house with Nick directly.  Let’s not forget that Nick has been on this show before, and he was the “villain,” or at least seriously misunderstood, both times on the Bachelorette.  That makes him predisposed towards sympathy for other victims of misunderstanding, like Corinne.  To Nick, it sounds like Corinne noticed a problem with the women, confronted the issue maturely, and moved on.  So he’s already on Corinne’s side when Taylor tries to bring her down.

I like Taylor, and I liked her commentary on this season.  But Corinne just brought her down.  I’m not surprised that Nick went for Corinne when faced with a decision between the two.  Taylor (I think mainly because of how she was pitted against Corinne) was a bit of a sourpuss.  Corinne kept her cool and was playful and sexy.  So, yeah, Nick went for her.


Danielle L.

Danielle L. was a front-runner from the start.  She was first out of the limo, which is an editing trick the producers use to showcase someone who will be important to the season.  She’s exactly Nick’s physical type (I actually think she looks very similar to Andi), and she’s a business owner.  All signs pointed to yes, at least on paper.


But I’ve struggled with Danielle L.  I found her answers to be too pat.  She’s given us a lot of soundbites, but I couldn’t tell if she even liked Nick.  Like this – is this not a little too perfect?


So it was hard for me to fully understand her feelings of love when I didn’t see it from her.  Maybe she had walls up, maybe she bought into the show too much, or maybe she did fall in love and just has a quiet way of showing it.  Either way, I wasn’t too surprised to see Nick send him home, although I WAS surprised at how hard he took it.  I’m going to blame lack of sleep on that one, he bounced back.


How much of a badass is this woman??  I am SO glad we got to see her on a one-on-one.  Kristina was my pick for first impression rose right off the bat, but we didn’t get to see too much of her at the beginning.  I think I fell in love with Kristina when she said this:


No, Kristina, you are definitely not stupid.  She’s also clearly friends with the other women in the house.  Look, they’re having so much fun!




SHE’S SO CUTE!  She’s also gone through a ton.  I’ve never heard a contestant with a story quite like hers, and I’m very glad she had to chance to explain her past fully.  It’s a story we don’t often get to hear, and her resilience is inspiring.  So I’m bummed to see her go, but I can’t wait for her to stay involved with the franchise.  I mean, she’d kick ass in Paradise (literally), so let’s do it.


Evolution of Corinne

All roads lead back to Corinne, right?  Corinne is now in the final four, unless Nick really goes rogue next week, so she’s done the almost-impossible: come back from a 2-1.  The 2-1 date is a dreaded spot.  No person has been on a 2-1 and then won the season.  Even if you survive, odds are not in your favor.  But Corinne has somehow done it, and once Taylor got sent home, she seems to be getting along with the other women.  Corinne can be really endearing.  Who didn’t enjoy this?


I’d be doing the same thing, Corinne.  She also showed surprising restraint during the group date with Raven and Kristina.  Kristina freaked out while snorkeling with sharks (Raven, on the other hand, was ready to punch them in the face), and Corinne could feel that the attention wasn’t on her (and for once, it wasn’t).  Instead of leading with her sexuality or doing something dramatic, Corinne recognized that it wouldn’t be appropriate to co-opt that moment and just let it be.


Growth!  Maturity!

She had a couple slip-ups, which mainly seemed to stem from insecurity and the fact that she’s starting to truly care for Nick.  When Vanessa got a 1-1 for the second time, we saw a little bit of the old (young?) Corinne.  She attacked Vanessa for not having enough emotional depth and only talking about lame things like her family and her job as a special education teacher.  Coming from someone who works for her dad and has a nanny, it’s just not a good look.


So, not perfect, but progress.  The women are basically separated from here on out, so Corinne made it through that part.  Now just to see who gets past hometowns.  And we get to meet Raquel the nanny, so there’s that to look forward to.


Before I get to my predictions, I have to talk about how MY GIRL RACHEL IS THE BACHELORETTE.  I have to do this before predictions because she climbed to my number 1 spot this past week.  I love the connection she and Nick have, how they’re always laughing, their obvious chemistry, and the ease with which they discuss potentially challenging topics, like race and family.  So I think it’s a pretty big spoiler to announce her as Bachelorette when I think she will still be around for awhile.  Maybe the family date doesn’t go well and next week is her last, but whatever happens, I am SO pumped for her season.  Rachel has been my favorite this entire time.  She’s a woman after my heart.  A fellow-lawyer in her 30s, working at a firm!  She’s fun-loving, honest, beautiful, and even-keeled.  And obviously incredibly intelligent.  So I am HERE FOR IT.

Rachel is also the first black lead the franchise has ever had, which is huge.  I’ll do a separate post on this because there’s a lot of history surrounding race on this franchise, and it will be interesting to see how they approach this.  Will there be more contestants of color this time around?  How prevalent will the race discussion be?  Rachel has the maturity and grace to handle her role as the first black lead, and it’s possible that the show will treat race as a “non-issue” (even though that is impossible in reality).  So we’ll have to see.  But I will be tuning in to see my girl find love.  You get it!


Since Rachel clearly can’t win this season, I am left with only three.

  1. Vanessa.  Nick and Vanessa clearly have something.  It’s like they skipped the fun-loving, giddy part and went straight for Notebook-style love.  It feels really serious, but their connection is clear.  I know Vanessa wasn’t pumped with Nick’s response to her spilling the beans about loving him, but I can see why Nick is holding back, at least in what he says.  He doesn’t want a Ben Higgins repeat!  With Rachel out of the picture, I just can’t see Nick ending up with anyone besides Vanessa.
  2. Raven.  Raven is a boss.  I love how she rolls with everything and isn’t afraid to speak whatever is on her mind.  She’s a boss.  She’s ready to punch sharks in the face and take a stiletto to a cheating ex-boyfriend.  I can see chemistry between her and Nick.  I think next week will be interesting.  I just can’t see our LA-beauty boy getting along well in Hoxie, AR.  But that’s what makes this show great.
  3. Corinne.  Corinne has come a long way and I think Nick genuinely cares about her, but it feels a little paternal.  He’s proud of her growth, and clearly attracted to her, but I don’t think it’s enough to overcome his other relationships.  I am excited to see who raised this woman, though, so next week should be great.



Madonna vs. Whore

Sorry for the delay, all.  It’s hard to blog about reality television when all I can think about is the inauguration and the corresponding march, but I do think it’s important to take care of yourself, and Mondays have become therapeutic.  A nice little escapism so I can disconnect my brain.  That being said….

We’re in the first few weeks of Bachelorland, which means we see more of the women than we see of Nick.  That will change, but we’re already being treated to a very sex-heavy season.  As I already discussed, Nick has a history in this department.  His prior stints on the Bachelorette have centered around sex, whether it is him spilling the beans on the after show with Andi, or sleeping with the Kaitlyn weeks before the Fantasy Suites.

This season seems to be no different.  First, we have Liz.


Guys, I don’t know if you know this, but Liz and Nick had sex.  That’s right, sex.  They met at Jade and Tanner’s wedding, and it was a one-night stand.  Nick asked for her number, she declined to give it to him, and they went their separate ways.  Liz did not try and contact Nick at all until she showed up on his show.

She mentions this more than once, although I have a sneaking suspicion that this was due to editing.


In a twist of producer-driven fate, Liz decides to tell Christen, the resident virgin, that she had a one-night stand with Nick.


Christen spills the beans to Nick.  Apparently editing may have also played a role in how we saw that conversation go down:

Nick feels the need to fess up to the women, who I think handled this all pretty well.   I think it would have been a bigger issue if Nick had kept Liz around.  Then their relationship may have been a threat to the other girls in the house.  But by the time they were privvy to the skivvy, Liz was long gone.  Everyone knows that Nick has had sex before.  So despite ample promos on this issue, it fell a little flat.

However, the sex-talk with Liz just sets the context for our resident villain, Corinne.

Corinne is only 24 years old and it shows.  And that’s not to slam the younger women on the show.  Some of them, like 23-year-old Taylor, are surprisingly mature.  But Corinne appears to view progress in a relationship as solely physical progress.

Case in point:


Corinne was feeling self-confident in her bikini until another contestant showed up topless (note – this is usually not an enviable costume on this franchise:


Which leads to pity party #1:


The girls started to notice when Corinne then proceeded to go into the pull, take her top off, and have Nick hold her breasts in front of everyone.  She then got the extra time with Nick, and then received the group date rose.

Which led smart young women to say things like this:


NOOOOO.  This is NOT what I want to see from this season of The Bachelor!  You do NOT need your top off to get a rose, but unfortunately Nick did the producers’ work for them by giving Corinne the group rose.  He had to know it would cause a stir with the ladies.

Unfortunately, it has now become the Corinne show, with the rest of the house turned against her.  Corinne hasn’t been helping her case.  She flaunts her sexuality every chance she gets:




The one time Corinne has felt uncomfortable in this process is when she was on the Backstreet Boys date.  She clearly did not like the dancing portion:


And as such, had a mini-meltdown:


Pretty is SO MUCH MORE than being scantily clad and acting sexually.  I think Corinne has a lot of growing to do in her understanding of what makes a successful partnership.

That being said, I caution how we treat Corinne.  This conversation is inches away from the Madonna v. Whore dichotomy that women have struggled with for far too long.  You don’t have to be one thing to be pretty or attractive or find a life partner.  Flaunting your sexuality is not a crime, especially when it’s done with agency and ownership.

Take Vanessa, who seems to be loved by all (myself included).  She wore a tiny body-con dress to her dinner with Nick.


Get it girl!  She also spent the date talking about substantive topics like work and family, and appears to have the best connection to Nick by far.  Please note that she also vomited, multiple times, on their date and Nick still dug her!


It’s not about whether you are smart or sexy or funny or kind.  Women can be all of the above in so many different ways.  I hope we can move away from this trope that taking your clothes off first means you get the guy, but with the promos this week I’m not sure we’re in luck.

As always, my top ladies:

  1. Vanessa.  Girl rocked it this week, and it’s the only real connection I’ve seen this far.  I really appreciate her joyfulness, her maturity, and how she interacts with the other women.  She’s my pick for the final rose.
  2. Rachel.  YESSS we finally got to see Rachel.  Vanessa may be my pick for Nick, but Rachel is my pick for friend.  She killed it on the group date and I was happy to see her relationship with Nick had not skipped a beat, despite not getting a date last week.

Ok, that’s really it for me right now.  I just don’t see a connection with the other ladies yet.  But here are some additional thoughts:

  • Danielle L. seems like she is Nick’s type to a “t,” and she also got extra time with him this week.  However, I find her to be very guarded.  Her interviews are all platitudes, and I haven’t seen her say anything interesting about herself.  I can’t even tell if she’s into Nick.  I don’t think she’s going anywhere, but I don’t see her as top 3.
  • Danielle M.  I freaking love Danielle M. and want her entire wardrobe and want to be her friend.  But I don’t think she is Nick’s type physically (he seems to have a thing for brunettes), and she is very understated, while Nick seems to go for the more overtly strong personality.
  • Raven.  I think Raven is our dark horse.  She’s been getting substantive screen time that shows her back story, and I am digging her honesty and laid back approach.  She’s Nick’s type and fits the criteria for women who do well on the show (except for the part about being from a tiny town in Arkansas).  Keeping my eye on her.

Final thought:

  • Keep Alexis on for as long as possible please.  I do not see a connection between her and Nick, but she gives us gems like this many times over:




Our “Controversial” Bachelor

According to Chris Harrison, Nick is the “most controversial bachelor ever.”  We all know Chris can veer towards hyperbole, but Nick is definitely different than previous leads.  We’re going to take a little trip down memory lane and look at Nick’s numerous experiences with this franchise.

Before I start, can I just say that I am so pumped for this season?  I found myself liking most of the women, even Shark girl!  She was a breath of fresh air and totally made me laugh.  There are a lot of women I don’t think will be right for Nick, but I was really impressed with how they respected each other (mostly) and how mature they seemed, even with some of the younger contestants.  Taylor, for example, is tied for the youngest contestant at 23, and I thought her commentary was really funny.  Not what I was expecting from Forever 21 girl!

So who is this man that these awesome women will all be falling in love with?

Nick Viall!  Nick is 36 and up until he became a reality-star, was based in the Midwest.  He originally hailed from Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and worked as a software salesman at Salesforce in Chicago.  As most of you probably know, I live in Chicago and was on the active lookout for Nick when he was first on Andi’s season.  Never saw him around town.  He’s my white whale.

Little did I know that he had picked up and moved to L.A. to become a model?  I think?  He used to give us pictures like this:

And now he gives us pictures like this:

So it’s fair to say he’s had a bit of a career shift since his journey started.

It all began with Andi.

Nick was a contestant on Andi’s season of the Bachelorette.  Andi, one of my favorite bachelorettes, was a smart, beautiful lawyer from Atlanta.  She gave Nick the first impression rose:

Which put a target on Nick’s back and was the impetus of Nick’s persona as “controversial” or “cocky.”  When a contestant asked Nick if he thought he was a frontrunner, Nick said “Eh, probably.”  Nick was criticized as being strategic because he’s watched prior seasons and knows when the lead will be making big cuts to the contestants.  He also snuck out to visit Andi, solidifying Nick’s role as the villain.  Villain-lite, because he really wasn’t that bad, but Andi’s season was lacking in any other villain so Nick had a role to fill.

Nick made it to the final two, but Andi broke up with him before he got a chance to propose.  Nick did not take his lying down.  In perhaps his most obvious “villain” move, he called Andi out for having sex with him in the Fantasy Suite during the After the Final Rose taping:

Rough.  I’m actually a pretty big Nick fan, but this was incredibly uncomfortable to watch.  I agree with Andi, a little below the belt (wink, wink).

So Nick leaves in disgrace.  He spends some time licking his wounds and getting acquainted with other Bachelor/Bachelorette contestants, including the lovable Kaitlyn Bristowe, who got the boot from Farmer Chris!  Apparently the two struck up an online flirtation that never came to fruition, and Nick was too intrigued to just let this lady go.

He showed up to Kaitlyn’s season at Episode 5.  That is late.  Really late.  The men had already started traveling, and Kaitlyn had already sent half the guys home!  I don’t blame the guys for getting a little ruffled by Nick’s appearance, but they seemed to keep their cool, generally speaking.

Until Nick made another sex faux pas and slept with the lead weeks before the Fantasy Suites.

Making waves yet again.  Unfortunately, it didn’t lead to a ring this time either, and Nick was sent home just as he was about to propose.

At this point, things did not look good for Nick.  He had lost on the Bachelorette, twice, and hadn’t made too many friends in the process.  So he took to Paradise, the place where broken reality contestants go to shine up their images for those Instagram endorsements.


Nick did well in Paradise.  He got to face down resident alpha male Josh (Andi’s ex-fiance), which was a good look for him because Josh portrayed the emotional range of a caveman during his stint on the show.  Not only did Nick escape unscathed, but he managed to build up a fair amount of goodwill.  He was friends with most of the women, and pursued Jen, who was gorgeous, intelligent, and friends with most, if not all, the other contestants.


Something that all the Bachelor intros seem to gloss over is that Nick dumped Jen in Paradise.  This was not another story where Nick was the runner-up, the always-bridesmaid never bride.  I don’t blame him for it – they live on separate coasts and had only known each other a few weeks – but let’s not feel too sorry for Nick.  In an unexpected twist of fate, he got the best gig of all – BACHELOR.

To say the casting was a surprise is an understatement.  In the past, spin-off shows like Bachelor in Paradise were considered “below” the standards of leads.  That’s why you haven’t seen a lead go on the show, even though the leads are certainly friends with most of the contestants (and the majority are, in fact, single at this point).  Even having Josh, who was the “winner” of Andi’s season, on Paradise seemed like a huge boon for ABC.

And here we are, with the “most controversial” Bachelor of all time.  For what it’s worth, I think it’s great that we have someone like Nick as the Bachelor.  He’s been through this before and he knows how to play the game, but he also is analytic, independent, and kind.  I think he’ll do a great job.  Query if he is there for the right reasons (I will mistrust anyone who starts a modeling career in LA in their mid-30s) but I do think he’ll give us a good season.

He’s already made some excellent choices with his first impression rose.  Rachel is my girl, and I’m so glad Nick agrees!  My favorite part of their interaction was when Nick was asking Rachel about her job as a criminal. defense. attorney. and asked whether she was good at it.  She owned it (in a graceful way) and replied that she thinks she’s pretty great at it!  It was so refreshing to see a contestant on this show proudly announce her accomplishments.


Yes you did, girl!  Matches your dress 🙂

I have high hopes for the rest of the season!  My women haven’t changed much from last week, but I’m adding one in:

  1. Rachel.  Already noted.  Top of my list.
  2. Vanessa.  I really liked her intro video and the interactions the two had during the night.  She also seemed to take everything in stride, especially when she did not get the First Impression Rose (unlike Corinne, another story).
  3. Danielle M.  It was so clear how much Danielle loves her job, which I think might be really attractive to Nick.  I loved Danielle’s style.  I’m a little concerned she is too soft-spoken for Nick, but I still think she’ll go far.
  4. Danielle L.  This girl is smoking!  It was clear she and Nick hit it off and had some chemistry.  Danielle also seems to have her wits about her and kept her cool throughout the night.  Also, she had the coveted spot of being shown as first out of the limo, which is a producer note that she’s someone worth watching.